My husband said he needed more space....

[JenInVen]

Addie.. act as if is hard when I feel like a victim or make myself a martyr. Change isn't easy but it is necessary. I can and will do it.

Jen

[cw68]

Jen, when I hit that spot and got through it, I definitely felt much better. It also seems to help our situations as well.

quack quack

[JenInVen]

It helps so much to read what everyone posts. I'm going to show him I love him by giving him his space, not arguing, nagging or questioning him, and giving him the support he needs. Those were my goals at the very beginning of my sitch and they'll continue to be for some time yet.

He has to pop by tonight to get some dress shirts so when he does I'm not going to ask him anything and I'll keep doing what I'm doing when he arrives. Let him come to me.

Jen

[cw68]

Look your best when he comes by and PMA.

quack quack

[JenInVen]

yes yes! Sure well thanks Duckie!

Jen

[addie]

Don't forget to be friendly, say hi with a smile, ask about his day and then prepare to busy yourself with something else while he's there (give him space). When he leaves, say have a good night and walk away. No other talk unless he initiates and even then just listen.

Good luck!!!

[JenInVen]

Gee now I hope he drops by. I know he's not comfortable being here or being around me sometimes because we tend to not have relaxed moments. Tonight I'll try my best to be friendly and not judgemental.

Thanks CW and Addie!

[W2G]

Hi Jen,

Focus on you... doing whatever you need to do to make yourself happy.. in interacting with your H somehow you need to forgive him for walking out.. and work on being friends. Whether you get back together or not (which I hope for you and your daughter that you do) being friendly to each other will help your daughter through this bad scenario so much.

It isn't easy being a friend.. For me it's only become more normal now.. initially it felt really forced.. it still feels odd that my H and I are becoming such good friends. but that I can't really tell him my feelings.. 'cause I don't want to push.. and a real and open friendship would allow me to do that.. not there yet and not sure we will be for a long time.

Anyway, that is my $0.02.

Thinking of you! You can do this!

Hugs,
W2G

PS. Realized with my previous post that I totally missed your update post that your internet was fixed... and all the interaction with your H.. my post sounded so lame after I realized I missed yours. Sorry about that!

[JenInVen]

Thanks W2G. Your post wasn't lame by the way. Everything you say helps more than you can know.

I just need to snap out of this and fast. I'm doing more harm than good. He hasn't come by yet but I hope he does so I can be all nice and friendly.

Jen

[mgmellors]

jen, How are things going, have not heard from you in a while. Not sure what thread you are using right now. So tell me, how is your bding going with H.