Well, my wonderful wife has been with back with me now for 6 days. We are currently on holiday in Europe and heading home tomorrow. It has been fantastic to have her back and at times very tough because she is still getting over OM and extremely wary of me. I will not be getting any of my needs met for some time I don't think.
She said she is "just waiting" for me to have an angry outburst or do something thoroughly selfish and objectionable. We went into a restaurant yesterday and I started singing out loud to a tune that was playing, something that she didn't like, and she then said that brought all of the "old feelings" back from the few days before she left. So, in the truest sense of DBing that does not work, so I will NOT be doing that again.
Today has been better. Took her for a few games of pool, lunch and caressed her head for about one and a half hours this afternoon so she could relax. She is very reserved and not showing any affection - she is still really hurting so I am not going to expect any. Given the way I have treated her she is perfectly entitled to feel resentful and cautious towards me. We have both agreed that we are going to be friends first and reconnect before entertaining the idea of anything else.
In all I am pleased with the direction of things. We are able to be affectionate, lean on each other etc, but we are not out of the woods and won't be for a while. I confided in her that I feel like I am walking on eggshells and that my every move is being scrutinised but, that's the way it has to be for now. Once she is sufficiently over OM which I am told can take some time, I will be filling up that love bank account of hers as quick as I possibly can.
Take care all of you and keep DBing. Focus on the baby steps in the right direction.
love,
GH31
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
