Refuse To Lose, Part VII

[NoDirection]

RTL,
Again, another similarity comes to life. In my sitch, we both were very close to her side of the family. One reason was that she alienated my side of the family and for about two years, we did not speak. Once I filed, she would go ballistic if she knew that I was talking with her family.

The reason for this was that she could have control of what information they were given. They now do not even acknowledge I exist. Everytime they have been around the house, they won't even acknowledge that I am there. Which is fine because this has gone back far longer than I was ever in their lives and will continue to be a problem until something drastic changes.

My father told me something that has made a lot of sense during all this. My STBX never once went to counseling, saying that I was the one with problems and that she does not have issues. In order to fix anything you must first recognize that you have something that needs to be fixed. Also, there has to be a greiving period, you are in the midst of that. Your STBX, has not. She has gone back into a new relationship that will fill whatever void she had. In all likelihood, she will repeat the whole thing over again.

What you can do, is be the pillar for your child. Be strong and put her first. You can not control your X and what she says to her family and in all honesty, who cares. You know what you have done and what the truth is. They have set up a flawed structure that is only hurting them. If they can not see that she is involved with a new person so soon is something that is questionable, then what does that say about them. More so, what does that say about the OM.

Take care of yourself, you will go through some depression and there will be some scars from all of this. You need to be the father that your D deserves and learn from this so your next R can be even better... best of luck!