I like that, too! My H actually did that once or twice and then I asked him to never do laundry again! I still suspect that may have been H's plan though!!! Karen
This is my first day off of work with H gone, it is harder than the rest of the week has been. The rest of the week has just been getting through the evenings now the day is stretching out so long and there is only more of the same tomorrow. D wanted to go play in the yard and then we had to come back in because there are so many spider webs, I would have cleared them off for her(not that I would have enjoyed it), but she didn;t want me too, just go back inside(she is used to someone else doing that kind of stuff for her).
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Sorry you're having a rough day. You definitely need to figure out a plan for tomorrow. Take your D to a movie, brunch, park, the mall, etc. Twiddling your thumbs isn't going to make for a happy day.
Wishing you happiness.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
gfi is sooo right. Plan something super fun, get out of the house. You have the whole day ahead of you, make it wonderful for your D!!!
PS: H still throws things in our laundry too (he showers after he works out at our house), and I wash them. I don't care. BUT...I don't allow him to do the laundry anymore because he made a comment about a thong of mine in there. IDIOT!! lol
Hey there, Neecy. Hope you were able to get outside today and do something with D. Also hope you were able to do a little something for yourself as well. Don't forget to take care of YOU, ok? Very important!
BTW, the thing with the dirty clothes, if it were me, I would place them in a bag (still unwashed of course), hand it to H the next time he came by, and lovingly say to him, "Oh, here. You forgot to take these with you."
Don't be his doormat. (((Hugs)))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I am not sure why I post on here- well I do know, I like the people. I should probably be banned cause I am a very poor DB'er. H texted on and off all day Saturday trying to find out if I was going out Saturday night. His best friend pulled in the driveway and I talked to him for a few minutes, first he heard(when I told him) that my H hasn't been at home for a week and he drives to work and lives across the street from the guy H is claiming to be living with who is another of his closest friends. H came home yesterday "to talk", no talking cleaned the garage, which was a major undertaking. Finally came inside stared into space, we will talk in awhile. I ended up starting an argument button pushing because I needed some response to the question of what the hell is going on. He admitted now that he has gone to ow;s house since she moved out from her boyfriend, but the story is only 2 times and didn't even take his shoes off. I flipped about trust and the fact that he constantly berates me for not trusting him and this is what he does. So he claims, that is why I don't tell you the truth because you act the same way every time. H stormed out and the story was well I was thinking of coming home but not now!
Sent me a text saying "I am all f'd up" not me him. I grabbed my daughter and went to Walmart and bought new locks. He called while I was there, and I told him what I was doing. Discussion on that, I can't do that ect. Explained he moved out voluntairily.
Later he sent me a text saying he had to work tues(his day with D always)and he could watch D wed and we could talk. I said don't worry about it. He asked watching D or talking. Both. So then the question about keeping D away from him. I advised no he watches her tues,i will not keep her away from him, wed my parents watch her, Wed is OW's day off, "D is my priority and the only thing I have left, I will never allow her to be in the presence of someone who destroyed her family." I know this is playing hardball, and some might think I am using my child, but I am not I sincerely do not want her around this person because I do not think she is stable (nor is my H at this point).
So then he calls, and is nicer, calmer, sorry, not sure what to say to me, he knows that it is wrong he went to her house. He is trying. He needs me to stop snooping and hunting. He wants the number of the Employee Assisstance Program at my work so he can call, maybe that can be our first step. He will come by after work to talk - tell him not to if there is nothing new to say.
I get a blocked call at 9:45 say hello a few times and the person hangs up. A few minutes later i get a call from H asking if I called his mom because she called demanding he call immediately. Said I had called early in the evening to see if she could watch D on tues, that is all.
He was all fired up this morning, you tell my mom when she gets there I am not 12, do not treat me like I am. Told him no, will not. When his mom showed up she told me that she had called, then went out looking for him - his car was not at the apartments he said he was staying at(told me previously he parks in the lot across the street(lie I am sure)) so she went to OW's house and no one answered. She told me that if H refuses to speak to his family(2 weeks since I told them and he has been in hiding) she will make him. She will give him a few days and then visit the OW's work to push his buttons. I talked to him after, did not tell him this part but did tell him that his mom had gone out looking for him and that he had better call her before he ended up really embarassed. He went off again, I am 36, they are acting like I am a child, why did you tell her where she lives. I advised I told your parents 2 weeks ago you have refused to contact them since, I cannot control what they do. If you keep saying you are 36 then act like it.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
Your husband is expecting you to shelter him from the consequences of his infidelity, but you're refusing to do so. GOOD. You're also speaking the truth to him, and he doesn't like it. GOOD AGAIN!
Keep it up, and try to stay out of R talks with him. The ball is in HIS court, not yours. He is learning to lie in the bed that's he's made, and it's a healthy step he has to go thru.
I agree with everything Puppy said!!! I think you are doing a great job DBing! No one's perfect, I mess up and send emails not about the kids sometimes but every day try to get a little better at it. You are way too hard on yourself, Neecy! I wonder if it's b/c we have critical spouses? Maybe we are so used to hearing criticism we start doing it to our everyselves when they're not around? I know I do that, too!!! Karen
And I thought I did everything wrong! No wonder I have such a hard time getting this right.
Neecy, you're doing fine. I thought this, particularly, was REALLY good:
Quote:
I talked to him after, did not tell him this part but did tell him that his mom had gone out looking for him and that he had better call her before he ended up really embarassed. He went off again, I am 36, they are acting like I am a child, why did you tell her where she lives. I advised I told your parents 2 weeks ago you have refused to contact them since, I cannot control what they do. If you keep saying you are 36 then act like it.
Karen
