Thanks for reading my post. I, too, felt constant heartache over "Kevin's" behavior, a willingness to allow him to take all the time and space in the world when he zipped out of the house two months ago. I emotionally dangled like a worm on a hook waiting for whatever attention, both good and bad, he gave me.
In the process I've realized that I lost my sense of self in the relationship. That getting a life wasn't just an exercise, it was a necessity if I didn't want to feel like a helpless victim of his whims.
An image that helped was that I had a large wound on my arm which I was constantly picking at. It took up all my energy and focus, just poking it to see if it was getting better, but making it worse. Eventually I remembered that I had a whole body, not just this arm that hurt so much.
He is a huge part of your life, but at this time not everything. Taking care of yourself is good good good.. and congratulations on doing so. Remember, going 'dark' isn't about not contacting him, it's about giving yourself time to heal.
