DB FINISHED

So this is the end of DBing for me. I have only done it for a week or two and I failed miserably. W asked me yesterday wether I received the summons, I said no but when they come I refuse to do anything with it or about it, I refuse to be an accomplice in this crime. One thing followed another and soon I was at her with all the fury in hell. It was like an abscess that was lanced with all the bitterness and anger just spewing out. Any hope of ever reconciliation completely and utterly destroyed. I knew it while I was fighting with her, and it did not bother me at all. In fact this morning I wrote her an email to tell her exactly what I thought of her, how I believed that love is a choice, how she tried to change me all these years (she still back drives me like crazy when we go somewhere) but never tried to change herself, how I changed in the last year for good but she was to wound up in her EOA's to notice. How she lies when she says I abused her emotionally because it started (surprise) the day I came across her pornographic emails to OM. How rage is a natural part of abandonment trauma (its in a book I read, she refuses to read it) and NOT emotional abuse.

I wrote that I do not think I want to be married to a woman who has to build such a structure of lies into her worldviewe just in order to feel good about destroying the people who love her most. It is definitely not the girl I fell in love with.

She is throwing away a perfectly good guy for a fantasy in a fairyland of lies.

So this is it. From today I am the walk away spouse. She cannot abandon me any more because I am abandoning her.

Khalas. It is over.


Me 43 W 42 M 1998 S16 S15 D7 D4 bomb 07/03/2007 OPA ILYBNILWY
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