Totally Lost after 23 years

[addie]

I have blown every single one of them so far! Each time I come out, I feel as if WW is saying to herself, "he just doesn't get it" and I am starting to.

If you are feeling this anxious about going to MC it may not be worth it to go. I have often read on this board that MC has done more harm than good because it just reaffirms for the WAS that the issues are not solveable. This may not be the right time for the two of you to be in MC. Is your MC a pro marriage therapist - if not then find one that is. It might be more beneficial for each one of you to continue IC and hold off on MC until W says she wants to try working on the M.