#3 Did I find DB too late? Maybe not...

[cw68]

I think things are going to get a bit interesting. H went away to the mountains yesterday to clear his head. For some that may mean communing with nature, but for my H it was drinks at our favorite restaurant (put it on the debit card, so I saw), window shopping and hitting a casino.

He came by today to see the kids before he's out of town for work this week. We had a nice day, planted some new plants, went for a bike ride, hung at the park, had dinner, blah blah blah. While the kids were in the bath I asked him to come into our room to chat. I'm sure he was nervous about what I was going to say, pre-dbing that was a bad sign, but all I wanted to know was what was going to happen during his mother's visit later this week. After we figured it out, I asked for a quick cuddle, which he said he had no problem doing. It was just a long hug in a not very personal position, which was totally OK. He paused and asked me, "Is that perfume I smell?" I'm allergic to perfume. Over the past ten years, he's bought me a few different bottles, but since it makes me itch if I wear regularly, I just don't wear it. About three months ago, I started wearing some again as a little 180 for myself. (I've discovered that if I spray it into the air behind me and then walk backwards into it, it just hits the clothes and not my skin. Therefore I don't itch.) I confirmed. Quick hug, over, all good. Then while we were in the bathroom watching the kids, I leaned over and said into his ear, "I want you to move home Aug 1st." Our lease is up July 31. He said, "I know you do." But not in a dismissive way, just a statement. In response I said, "In the meantime, lets use this time to work on ourselves. Let's get ourselves into the best shape we can so we can move forward for our kids, for us." Then I got the kids out because I didn't want the convo to be anything more than that.

When he left, he kissed me a few times and held me tight. Really tight. A really good hug and then another kiss. As he was walking down the path to the car, I told him that I really hope his trip to the mountains did him well. He said that it did and that he's turning the corner, that you can only stay down for so long before you pick yourself up. I validated and agreed, "It's true and I can totally personally relate to that, H." We parted nicely.

I don't know what's going to happen, but I think H is in a little breakthrough mode and the timing is good for him. He's out of town and then his Mom comes into town, so we can just sit and glide for the next week, spending time as a family and being.