Minkerman: Neutral is the new Forward!

[cw68]

MM, what does your gut tell you to do? What does your gut tell you your W is thinking?

I think it's obvious that she's having second thoughts. Why she's having those thoughts, though, isn't as clear. This is all a guess from what you've written on these boards, but... I think a good part of her heart wants to stay. Yet as she said, she spent a good deal of time thinking about how to get out and she's in an internal fight with herself. She wants to be strong and independent and follow through with "her" plan. At the same time, she sees why she shouldn't, and doesn't want, to go. The dating comment was to see what you felt, what you wanted to do. I don't think it was as much of a test as it was a temperature check. Your reaction matters.

Bottom line, she's confused. She needs more time and doesn't know if you're able to give it to her. That's only a question you can answer. If your goal is still to save your marriage, then the answer is easy. If your goal isn't as clear anymore, the answer is more difficult to find.