H and I went out and had a few drinks, then back to his place for "the talk". When I started he said "I knew there was a reason for dinner and drinks." It didn't start out great. I told him exactly what I though about him, his happiness, his negativity, his feeling sorry for himself..etc. I really just needed to get all of that off my chest.
I told him we were either working on this or we weren't. I said there were certain things I needed to happen either way. He asked what would need to happen if we were working on it. I told him we would need to move in together, tackle our bills together, go to counseling, wear our wedding rings, open up about OW...there were other things, but I won't list everything
So we talked about A LOT of things...OW included. He FINALLY told me some things that bugged him about me in our marriage. He wished that I was more spontaneous mainly and he felt like I would parent him. I agreed those were things I needed to work on, but I didn't realize he wanted me to be more spontaneous...there were some other things that he said that completely surprised me. I told him that if we decide to try this that he is going to have to be more open with me...I can't read his mind.
Anyway, in the end he told me he didn't want to get a divorce. He told me he wanted to work on it but he thought that moving in together right now would be skipping a step. He said he wanted to date and slowly spend more and more time together to rebuild that connection. I agreed to that. Then he told me he was off work Wednesday and asked me to lunch...then said he was off work Friday and asked me to a movie.
I got a hug and a kiss when I left and it actually felt like old times. We joked around and things didn't feel awkward. He told me he understood my need for him to be completely open with his phone and email. I told him I would need him to cut off all contact with OW. He said he had thought about getting rid of his cell or changing the number. He also said he hadn't talked to her since he called her and told her to take the picture off of myspace.
Ok, that is all I can think of right now. I will write more tomorrow. I am so tired right now I can hardly remember everything anyway. It did go better than expected though.
