So about 7 hours after the arguement yesterday he picked us up and brought us home. No arguing just chit chat. He said he'd pick D up in the morning.
Today around 9:30 am he called me to bring her down. I brought her down chatted for 5 minutes and then I went to the drug store and they left in car. H said he didn't have a plan for the day. I said ok and went off.
Called him once to get a password for a website and he said he was going to buy D a gift for the swim meet.
He called around 7pm for me to come down and get her. Said he wasn't coming up. I went down and he was in the car (it was running) and D was coming around the corner. I opened the door let her in and waved bye to H. Then I remembered he needs to take her to school in the am so I texted him just that and why. He writes back "Nice to remind me now through text message. You are so childish you know? It's easier to hate you than anything...That's fine though. I'll be there at 7am. Have her ready downstairs at that time please." So I explained in a couple texts that I didn't have anything to say and I didn't want to argue. He then says that a "hi" is common courtesy. I told him that he seemed in a rush because D was out of the car before I even reached the building entrance. He told me that it's not worth his texting and he'll see me tomorrow. I told him maybe I was a bit bitchy and sorry for giving him the cold shoulder.
I was trying to be a little dim but I think I was cold/rude. He just sat in the car with it running and wouldn't bring her up like he usually does so why should I have made an effort to chat with him? Ok if I put it that way it does seem childish doesn't it? I'm not trying to make him hate me! All he needs is for me to be friendly and not act skitzy on him. Simple right?
I need to put more thought and effort into this. I think H even thought about coming home in the beginning but I'm pushing him away more every day. I'll do my best to be sweet and kind with him and act as if everythings fine. Can't let him see me like this anymore. I feel like Jekyl and Hyde. I'm getting the opposite of what I really want but continuing on this path.
I don't feel as if I had another backslide but I do want to kick myself really, really hard.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
