I do have much more to offer than OW ever will. I keep saying to myself..."just because H says he doesn't love me doesn't make me an unloveable person." I am not believing it at the moment, but I keep saying it.
That is so true! In my case, and in I think all the other threads on this board, the OWs and OMs seem to be dysfunctional people. But I think our spouses are also mixed-up & dysfunctional at the time they have affairs also. Our spouses having affairs is about them and their emotional problems or MLCs or whatever they are going through, and doesn't have anything to do with us! You need to believe that, b/c it is true!!!
Plus, even when they say they don't love us, I think that is often not true. I think my H does love me at least at some level, and is trying to distance himself from me and say things like that so he will feel less guilty for his behavior. And sometimes I think they are also mixed-up and may not even realize yet how much they do love us (until it may be too late)!
I agree with Joie maybe you should have someone come over with you or you should be with a friend or family now, too? I know how you feel I think, in that I would have a tough time going through that all over again and the insanity our spouses go through when they start up with OW. I am so sorry you are going through this! Please keep posting and let us know you are doing OK! Karen
