Pretty much I didn't try and figure out what H was doing or thinking...so there was no choice...I had filed for D but delayed it...why???...not really sure...I just kept hoping that if nothing else H would return to his faith and be there for the kids...
Also, when H did return...I accepted him back sooner then I had planned or should have (my D was upset with me as she wasn't ready to have her dad back in the house)...it was well over a year after he was home that he was able to tell me that he loved me again...this came 3 months after his last email contact with OW...I think that was the turning point...he finally had closure with her, knew she was in a R and happy...he hadn't ruined her life after all!...that was when he really started focusing on me and reigniting the love we once had for each other...
During all of this I really focused on me...being happy on my own...GAL...being with my kids...not that there weren't days like you describe where you feel sad...the tears roll...I think that is normal even after a year or so of them being "gone"...
All I can say is the time that we had apart did us the most good...it allowed him to see how much he was in trouble emotionally and it wasn't caused by me like he thought...I was able to see that I didn't NEED him in my life...that I could make it on my own (he wasn't paying support at all)...I felt stronger in many ways...
I have now seen two of my dear friends break-up...one of them just back together after over a year apart...no OP involved just a major depression/MLC on the H's part...the other couple...the H was there for my son while my H was gone...and now he has left his W of 5 years...it is so sad because she doesn't understand...and she really doesn't see how he could do this after being there with my family...I believe it is a QLC...she doesn't know if there is anyone else...she is struggling day to day...it has been rough for her the past 9 months...I keep encouraging her but I am also supportive of her as well...Watching both of these couples there was no way for me to see if they would/will return to each other...I understand the confusion...they appreciate that...and they had/have hope because of how things worked out for us...so I pray for them everyday...
Just keep enjoying your life, Kissak...and leave your H to figure his out...Lin
