I would suggest you confront him with the idea that YOU are feeling anxious and need him to go into db mode with you.
NC with other woman. Account for all whereabouts Attend counselling sessions with you. Be available at any and all times
Etc. It sounds like the two of you didn't go though db counselling to clean up his affair.
Most unfaithful spouses want to sweep it under the rug...it just leads to the affair starting up again or another one happening later on.
Don't accuse him. Just tell him you are anxious and he needs to curb his liberties for a while and attend counselling sessions with you...and in confidence tell your therapist how much evidence you have so far...hopefully the counselling might wake him up a bit.
Accusing him without evidence will just get you told you are "crazy".
I really don't think he has learned much at all from his affair..whether he is having one now or not he isn't managing the healing properly...buy "not just friends" and insist that he read it and work with you to heal properly...again this may again end his affair without you having to accuse him outright.
