He says they were for me and he was going to give them to me at dinner. But then he got sick at the gym (this was the truth) and since we weren't going out for dinner he can't. Huh?? I didn't even bother hashing it out after that. He has to know how stupid that sounded. He is awful at having an affair. Why would he have bought roses at 9am to give to me at 6??
But I am so past the roses....so past calling me the wrong name...I am just at the point where I want the truth so that I can do whatever it is I need to do.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
YOU make the decision YOU want. H is going to do whatever...and, though it looks very suspicious and you may be picking up weird vibes, you don't know the whole truth.
So...decide what your boundaries are. What can you live with? If you cannot live with a continuing/new affair, then put it all out there on the table. Call him on it--the roses, calling you her name, etc. Find out, then protect yourself if, indeed, this is a deal breaker.
If it isn't, decide how long you're willing to deal with it and what you're willing to put up with. My aunt made my uncle (my blood relative) move out of the house when he had his A back in the day. She pursued that legally, used the LRT, and they worked things out eventually.
Anyway, don't let H make your decisions for you. If what he's doing isn't okay, find out the truth and act, whatever that looks like for you.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
