Yesterday night I said to my W that I could not come for the usual good night to the kids because I was going out with some NEW friends (true) and it would be too late. She said I needed to go to her home anyway because I had to give her the camera for the following morning. So I said that she could put the kids to sleep and she could go to sleep to, I would go and bring the camera on my way home, and leave it on the table. I went there around midnight, she was still awake watching TV. She started to say that I am having all the fun, I was drunk (I actually drunk just water) and it is unfair she cannot go out (w/OM) because I am not taking the kids overnight, and that the kids were upset I didn't go.... blah blah I can say she seemed jealous... anyway the conversation was drifting dangerously toward the OM topic, so knowing how it was going to end I said bye bye and left. I would say 2or3 for the day. Today same thing, I went out for a business dinner, but I came home early enough for the kids. W barely talked to me, she went to take a bath while I put the kids to sleep, so I left with a good night said through the door. I'd say 3 for the day. I promised to her I'm going to spend the whole weekend with the kids, I didn't see them much this week, so she can spend sometime with OM, oooh.....it piss me off big time - but I cannot do anything about it.
So... I did a bit of "research" about the dude is "dating" my W. They work together, I new that, but they also do very much the same thing, for sure they know each other for long long time, they went to same conferences, etc. At this point my situation doesn't look very good. This is not a guy she just met and she had an infatuation that could come and go. This is something that has been cooking for long time. I am a bit desperate, I don't know how I can find the strength to move on.
This morning when I went to pick up the kids she asked me if I need help to move the rest of my stuff, I said I can manage myself. After a bit she hugged me and sobbed a little, I hugged her back, and that was it. I thought maybe she was going to some rethinking, now I think was just the farewell.
Could be both. Just keep up what you are doing, hard as it may seem. Be strong in front of her. Enjoy the time with your kids. Be the best dad, ever. For them and for you.
Last edited by hopeful4her; 04/20/0802:50 AM.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Hi Rop! The broken-hearted speaks, whoa...I hear you. The pain feels irreplacable; but there are choices YOU can make! Michele's DR gives you tools to jump start an ending marriage. If you implement solutions - instead of negativity...perhaps you'll make baby steps. Regardless of your wife's decision, you have beautiful children, your health, your job, and a heart committed to marriage. Hold onto hope, and divorce bust!
I hear you, brother. WW was out last night, but I kept myself busy with the kids. Venting on the board helped and watching others sitch. You can be strong. Whatever you have to do, think of it as being strong, not only for you but the kids. Keep your mind occupied with something. Anything. It is our minds that kill us. I know its easier said than done. I struggle, too. Work production is down. Can't think straight. I have to move on. Man up, like CBK tells himself.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Thank you guys. I have been in tough situations before, but this is the worst. What I keep thinking (also if I don't want to) is the fact that W, after years of M and having built wonderful family decided that I am NOT good enough for her, while this other guy is. It is very personal and a big hit on my self esteem. I have been reading DR and DB forward and backward, like a bible. I think the midlife crisis chapter, in some way fits the picture of what is happening with my W, also if W is just 36 - but she keeps saying that "this, with OM, is her last chance to have the family she wants, if she doesn't take this chance she is going to be too old to find somebody else" - this is something I can't swallow. I found a name for my plan, I called it "the wonderful me". I know is a bit childish, but I try to picture myself as a superhero.... Mr. Wonderful Me. Wonderful Me is a heck of a guy, very positive and taken care, happy and social. Every time I speak with W, or I lay down desperate in bed, I try to force myself and ask? What would Wonderful Me do? I don't know if is going to work out, but at least I am amusing myself a bit.
I forgot to mention.... OM is giving presents to my kids. That drives me crazy - the guy is stealing my family. My kids, that I think are too small to understand what is going on, yesterday asked me: "why don't you meet this friend of mom? Is a nice guy". I didn't know what to say, at the end I said "this guy may be nice with you and mom, but is not nice with me this is why I don't want to meet him". OM, for what I understand, is around 45, no family, no kids, maybe he is thinking MY family can feel his void.... but I have to stop to over analyze - what would WoNdeRfUlMe do?
