I'm going to need to keep coming back for support because I feel the pull to text the other guy, email the other guy, message the other guy, call the other guy all the time! I'm staying strong but it is very hard and I get so sad. How long will it take for me to get over this....I want to get over it....
I'm going to take a little bit different tack here, WhatdidIdo. Mostly because there's not much that can be said after Sara's sage words of wisdom.
You say above that you WANT to end the contact, but you're sorely tempted. May I ask what steps you've taken to ensue that additional contact with OM doesn't take place? Have you sent him a "no-contact" letter, telling him that you've chosen to work on your marriage, and that you must never, ever have any contact with him again, and asking him to honor your wishes? Have you changed your cellphone number so that he cannot text or call you? Have you set up a system of "transparency" whereby your husband is able to know your daily schedule, see your cellphone's text messages (Sent and Inbox) at any time he wishes, and the detailed billing of which comes to him?
These are all time-tested concepts that can help you "firewall" your marriage, and make it bullet-proof against the temptations of infidelity. In many cases, it is the betrayed spouse trying to INSIST upon these things, only to have the wayward spouse resist them, but in your case, you sound genuinely remorseful and you are TRYING to end all contact.
I think this could really help you, and would GREATLY help your husband see that you're trying to regain his trust and work on healing your marriage.
Puppy
P.S. Although we've never gone, I hear NOTHING but great things about the Retrouvaille weekends.
