My biggest concern about your situation is the kids.
Your Husband will get his act together, when he is ready.
In the meantime what are you going to do about the chaos with your Son?
He is out of control and disrespectful and this is something you are going to have to take charge of. He is 17 and treats everyone like sh*t, especially you.
Your Son is not in charge, you are.
It almost feels like you are afriad to upset him because he will tattle back to his Father about you and make you look bad.
You do not need his approval, you are the adult.
If your Son wants to continue to live in your home then he needs to abide by the rules. I personally think he needs to live with his Dad.
I am concerned about you, so forgive me if my words are harsh, but SF, I would never tolerate this behavior, ever.
I do know what it is like to go through life with a MLC Spouse and try to be a single Mother, etc.
But not once have my children ever been this disrespectful to me, ever!
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
