way to steer the talk back to the kids. Better yet, keep on the actual issue, which was that you couldn't hand the tax money to her because 1) you didn't have it in your hands, and 2) if it is going to be split, she'll have to wait. Maybe costs for the kids could be taken off the top of the return money, and then split between you two.
Point is you are Always Calm, Always focussed on the NOW issue, which you won't let be enlarged into R talk. The WAS often want to make R talk only long long after the LBSer has pursued, started R talks, and finally stops the chase. The LBSer stops, even if just to catch our breath, and often that is when we start looking around at the advantages of our lives withOUT the WAS, even if just to ease the pain.
It's also the time that a large % of WAS's start looking back over their shoulders to check and see if you've started to heal or move on or, really change. That's when they'll ask themselves some questions, maybe. If they're ready and that's only when enough of the 180's have been seen, and enough consequences from life have started to happen. I've heard that most MLCs take 2 years to get through. I'm in "Piecing" and my h's craziness started, intermittently, 7 years ago. He began obsessing with Alaska and returning there, even though NONE of the kids wanted to and I did not want to. The 4 c's we saw said various forms of telling him he was making choices as if my desires didn't matter as much and he said my feelings about Alaska were "irrational". So here we are, 100's of 1000s poorer, with lots of memories formed without each other. Weird. Not great/ and a lot harder than I thought it would be. If I knew before I married H, that I could have the same 3 kids with a diff H, I'd probably not marry h. I sometimes see that as really sad but it's such a hypothetical the REAL question and more realistic is whether I'd marry my h if the only way to have our 3 kids, was to go through all this. I would in a heart beat. Hope that helps, because the 2nd question there is THE question. (( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
