Could you talk a little bit about your "dark?" That is kind of where I am.
When I went dark on her, it was a time that I cannot really say I had much of a choice. She wouldn't discuss anything substantive with me anyway, and all I got was the most horrific spew you could imagine; things a man should never hear from his wife. To include things about her and other men, some made up, but some that I'm sure was true. I could either trudge through it and engage her in it, or completely back off. It helped me to back off, again, because there was nothing to be gained by seeing her or talking to her. Her venom was strong and it was driving me crazy, crazy, crazy.
Reality speaking, it didn't last as long as it should have. My weakness is that I "needed" to speak to her, just had to. The results were not good - not at all.
If you followed me last summer, you would know that we ended up with the ultimate in "dark"; the Temporary Restraining Order. Within a month, I was arrested for violating the order. Great..... The upside? Well, to be honest, I've sat with this thought for a long time and realize that just maybe, odd as it sounds, that the TRO may have been the best thing for us. If FORCED me to be dark, otherwise I'd get arrested again, then it would be lights out; I'd lose my kids. I literally went almost four months without speaking to her, and the only time we saw each other was in court. I think that gave my wife the chance to see how life was without me, and unfortunately, to see how life might be with other men. Now here we are.
Hope that helped. Let me know if you have any other questions.
