I think a lot of us fall into the trap that if we're not 'feeling' something, then it's wrong. But the truth is, feelings come and go, they can change at the drop of a hat. The secret to true, deep happiness and contentment is found in the realization that love is a verb, not a noun. It requires action, even when we don't feel like it. And often, when we put forth the effort to act, the feelings will follow. It's a leap of faith.
Good luck to you hon. I think you're not alone in the path you've walked. But it's up to you to change that path. And it does require doing hard things, rather than convenient things.
