MLC BS

[itsy]

It's hard when they are so hurtful and manipulative. You need to do what you need to do to take of yourself.

You need to put your needs and your kids needs first. You will need to detach to let yourself heal. It is a long process and it is very painful. You should set boundaries of what you will put up with. This is very important to do..it helps you deal with the conflicts and pain You have every right to think of yourself and what are the best options for your sanity. Just to let you know I did go to a psych hospital for a week.

So what if she gets mad. That is not YOUR problem. They get mad about anything...anything... They are angry and they take it out on you. Don't let it affect you. There is nothing that you can do all the time to try and keep the peace. It's crazy and not healthy for you.

I've been there. It is so painful but I am here to tell you that you will be okay one day. That you do heal. I do hope that you get back together. Read some of the DB practices again. Go out with friends. Do some 180's. Get a new look. try to stay busy that helps. Update yourself. If you don't know of a 180 that you can do isolate a particular incident and rearrange it in your mind for a better outcome. Visiualize situations so that you are better prepared next time she tries to manipulate you. I was very used to being manipulated by X. I'm NOT anymore. I got strong and you will too. It comes along with a MLCer and what they do to us.

You need to make decsions on your own that are good for you and the children. Just because she is the mother does not mean that she is a mother right now. Do what YOU want.

My situation was I wanted to keep the marriage at all costs. As I got more and more stronger I realized that it really was not the best thing for me. I am over it all. I moved on. I am very happy.

I will not encourage you do anything that you do not want to do. To each person they need to make their own decsions. But realize that you are in a situation that no one should every be in. YOU are the only one that knows everything about your marriage, yourself and what you want. It is a painful situation we all know that... I wish you strength and hope. ITSY