Well, thought I'd post something about my sitch...
Yesterday morning W tells me that she needs me to pick up D12 from school because W is going to L.A. with her friend to watch her friends husband be on a TV game show. She says she'll be home around 8 pm.
Nothing like short notice. No problem for me though.
Around 9 pm she calls to tell me she's on her way home. She's tired, yawning and tells me about the show. I'm polite and friendly because I'm in a good mood I guess. She ends the conversation saying something like "Well sweetie I'll be home soon" (Oops). I just say "I'll see you when you come home, bye".
She comes home and I am watching TV, take a moment to say hello and leave her alone. A few minutes later I hear her talking to D12 who is in her room playing Warcraft. The reason I hear her is because she is yelling at D12. I assume she is mad because she's playing her game a lot, but no. W is crying and saying "You never want to spend time with me, I just want to talk to you for 5 minutes!" and I Hear D12 say "Well you're never around mom, and when you are you...." but I didn't hear the rest.
W came downstairs and went into the kitchen and cleaned dishes and other stuff to keep busy. She asked me about D17 since she wasn't home. I told her I'd be picking her up from her boyfriends house around 11 so she could go to bed since she was tired. She went to her room.
A few minutes later, D17 calls to say her BF's parent will bring her home. So I went to W's room to tell her. She was laying on the bed, and looked and sounded really sad. I ALMOST asked her if she was 'ok' but I didn't. I left her alone.
Today, D17 needed a ride to go on a field trip so I gave her the ride. Along the way I asked her what her plans were for later and she said "Well, mom was very clingy this morning and wanted to go on a picnic or do something else together. I told her I already had plans. It's not like I don't love her but I would rather spend time with my friends, Dad"
I thought about suggesting a 'family' outing tomorrow but I'm conflicted because that's not the way 'divorce' works. See, I know if I were to suggest that, both of my daughters would go along with ME because we could bring D17's BF, and D12 would do whatever I suggested because it would be fun. But as I said, I did things like that 2 years ago during the affair and 'I want a divorce' crap and I am just not going to repeat any of those actions this time. Divorce sucks, and it HAS to suck to be her or she'll never learn what I have learned, that having an intact family is more important than anything else.
And that's about it. I'm continuing to let go, and I'm recognizing the miracles that God brings me. I can't help but wonder if he's talking to W and telling her she's losing her family slowly but surely.
