voice mail of our song -advice pls

[buenosuerte]

Okay it's been awhile since i've had some comments so i thought i'd try here. link below to other thread on LRT.

In a nutshell, i have been dark for 30 days no contact at all, nothing nada. last night i have this voice msg of only a song recorded, it was our song - number is restricted, the whole song played, nothing is said, just the song plays. i have only given my number to H and family, total of 3 people. i know it was him. why do that to me? what does it mean?

just when i'm about to go file for custody of our d 7.5months. we are not legally married - were engaged - should i file for custody and serve him? one of my goals was to wait bout a month if nothing changed then file, to the date of my waiting, he pulls this voice msg.

I did so well going dark, i GAL'ed my bootie off. i know i do miss him still love him of course, now what????
ADVICE PLEASE!!!


Previous thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1399469&page=1#Post1399469

[girlfromipanema]

Hmmmmm. That is very interesting. I don't know that I'm qualified to give advice. I might just remain dark a little longer. You have a baby - do you have any contact re: your baby girl or has he not seen her?

[sgctxok]

I only have a minute, but your post caught my eye---do nothing--just wait.

[JoieDeVivre]

I agree with SG ... he's probably waiting for you to call him. If he sent it because he wants to contact you, then let him do it.

[buenosuerte]

I do appreciate any comment, if you are here with us you are qualified. I'm out here on my own so thank you foryour comment.

yes we have a baby g 7.5 months old. He has no contact with her whatsoever. no visitation, no check on her health welfare nada!

the last words he spoke to me 30 days ago were, give me your new number, don't come to me let me come to you

[buenosuerte]

i was no way shape or form going to contact him at all. YOu say don't send him the custody paperwork to go to court on that issue?

[buenosuerte]

i have no way of contacting him other then going through his mother to leave a msg and i won't do that, nor will i go to his house, i've been really good and strong about that.

we both had our phones disconnected bcuz argued so much in text msgs and voice mail, bills were $1000 a piece, i changed my number he has it and he changed his but won't give it to me.

[girlfromipanema]

Do you have an attorney helping you with custody paperwork? If so, I'd follow the advice of the attorney with regards to sending paperwork to you H. I find it so odd that he isn't attempting to see his little baby.

I'd just wait it out a bit longer, I'm sure he'll be in touch soon if he sent the song message. Also, if he said "don't call me, I'll call you" and you don't have his number...

My heart goes out to you. Sorry your going through this.

[JenInVen]

Wow. It seems that he's reaching out to you. Stay in NC and let him call you after all that's what he said when you last spoke right. It's best to honor his wishes right now.

I wouldn't serve any papers just yet. But I do think you need to see what you can do when it's right to file.

Jen

[buenosuerte]

Thanks for the response, nah i don't have an attorney, i'm off from work till the next school year begins. That's a whole story within itself.

No attempt whatsoever to see his baby, it kills me. we tried for 3 months to get pregnant, she's here without a father has been for bout' 7 months. i've been on the other end with my other d. i only see her on summer vacations and xmas. it kills me not to be in her life each and every day. i really am beginning to believe he doesn't love her and never really did me.

this whole voice mail with song, bugs me. it's like here i've been silent for over a month ignored you and our baby, but let me mess with you by sending this song.

even if i had his number i would not call him. hate to admit it but the gym i go to is near his house and there are times when i drive by without him seeing me, not all the time.

i'm acting so much as my life has gone on, for the most part it has but so stuck in still loving him and wanting to work things out, not only for me but our daughter. horrible thing experience is from prior marriage the whole division of the child - i made that clear when we decided to have our d, that u stick it out work it out, but i think he's just immature, don't know what to do.

i hope you are right in him contacting me soon, when he does i really don't know what to say.

i go back and forth about serving him the custody/child support papers, it will send a msg that i am done, that may motivate him, i have no clue really...