Are we piecing yet?

[kiwi000]

Quick overview of the sitch;

Together 9 years, married 4 years, S2, I'm away overseas alot, WAW turns out had depresssion (doh! didn't even know), kicks me out after getting back from 4 week trip to China in June 2007. OM in picture, EA turns PA until a couple of weeks back. WAW gets lawyer and makes untrue allegations about me. I control my response and DB, backsliding a few times but keeping to the programme in the main.

Sudenly WAW comes to me 3 weeks ago and says she's ruined her life, self destructed etc. I tell her I love her no matter what. I verify that R with OM is apparently over days before.

So,WAW came to me and asked to have coffee last week. I agreed and at that coffee she asked 'if I had moved on or not because she needed closure one way or the other; she wanted to know if there was any hope for reconciliation?'.

I answered that I loved her and always would but that I couldn't answer the question, only time could tell us but that I had not moved on. She answered 'f**k, I thought you'd say that. (That response left me a bit surprised as I don't know what it meant). Then she said " I guess we're in limbo then' and I replied that I was pretty familar with limbo having been there for 10 months'. At least she laughed at my semi-serious response.

She then went on to dexribe how angry she is with her Mother who has 'told everyone that she (WAW's M) doesn't agree with WAW's choice for treatment for depression. I simply answered saying WAW's mother had not told me that.

We finished up by her saying that maybe we could keep talking to each other and rebuild the trust. I answered affirmitively.

Since that coffee she's asked me for some advice about a project she's working on and we've had better communication about our S. If the only thing to come of it is better communication in the interests of S3, then so be it.

Having said that; I have had so many feelings about these conversations. Does WAW really think that better communication will overcome the hurt and betrayal? I don't dwell on those but some day they're going to have to be discussed as they've helped shape me into a different person than she walked away from.

Anyway, I'm being open but I'm not pursuing her or suggesting we get together. The downside is the R discussion seems to be on hold again.

So, here'e where I need advice. How do I/we take this forward? any successful DBers that can offer guidance from here. Or is this one of many baby steps???