#3 Did I find DB too late? Maybe not...

[cw68]

H and I spoke today and I feel a bit more settled about some things. Apparently he is actually a lot more concerned about the vows and commitment part than he's expressed to me. H doesn't like talking about his therapy sessions, but shared with me that half of them consists of him talking about how much he doesn't want to fail our marriage. Thank goodness he told me this.

Tonight I told him that I realize so much of this isn't about me and that I don't feel comfortable making demands, but at the same time this IS, by nature, about me and I have to have a few things too. I told him I needed him to go to Retro with me. He came up short of agreeing, yet I feel he HAS to do this. He did agree to do the working end of the Dr Phil Relationship Rescue book. I'm just glad that he's stepping out of the box for me and trying to actively change our R instead of just waiting for it to change on its own.

Sara, I know that the religious aspect of it is minimal and not invasive. My worry is that H won't be able to get past that because of a deeply ingrained distrust of religion that his mother has pushed on her kids.

LMG and Jen, I've told my husband that if they are having a hard time being happy now, I just can't imagine them being happy given all the hardships divorcing will bring. Oftentimes I can be too analytical, but seriously, it's fairly obvious that things will be stacked against us all should we divorce. Happiness will just be that much harder to achieve.