Ok so I finally got internet connection (had to change credit cards)...
I have been getting mixed signals and messages from H. He tells me that "we will always be family" "d and I are the most important parts of his life", he tells me that he wants to spend time with us but in the next sentence tells me that its not healthy. Tells me that if his Dr was here to tell me what he has told his Dr then I wouldn't feel as sad but he can't tell me because he doesn't want me to get my hopes up. Tells me that of all the woman he knows I am the only one he wants to ML to, he needs to talk to me because I am the only one he feels comfortable talking with and crying with, he will be all alone when D and I visit family in June but implies that he has so many friends when he talks about his weekends but then says his life is so unbelievably boring and on and on it goes. is this MLC or just a DAM?
I guess I should and do feel good about what he has told me. But you all know how easy it is to focus on the negatives of the conversations. Of all the positives in my sitch I still feel that he'll never come home again.
Jen
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
