I have spent so much of my life taking care of exH and D17 that I any having difficulty putting myself at the top of my list!!!!!
Matilda, The fact that you wrote this statement about yourself is a sign of progress. You know that this is an area needing improvement, but it's tough changing years of habits and ways of thinking.
I hope you keep thinking about the self-care issue, and take small steps to integrate it into your life.
"One of the labors of adulthood is to befriend in ourselves those handicapped and underdeveloped parts of our nature we have set aside."
-------MC Richards
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Interesting talk with D17 yesterday. She said to me: "Dad thinks he can just buy me a car and give you money(child support) and that is enough!!!" She was hurt because when she asked her dad what he was doing on Friday night his response was "Why?" I ended up sending him an email (WITH D17's permission) saying she was asking to do something with him, but felt she couldn't invite herself over. He took it well and invited her to do something. She isn't supposed to tell me anything about what they do, but she thinks they were going to have dinner and/or a movie. He told her it wasn't a good night to spend the night. D17 and I are making progress communicating which is a good thing! Hopefully her dad will realize she needs to feel she is a priority (PLUS SHE NEEDS TIME AWAY FROM ME AND VICE VERSA!!!)
Survived one month! Two significant things happened yesterday: 1. Ex brought D17 home and came in to check mail, etc. I asked a simple question re. a co-parenting issue. He made it clear he didn't want to be bothered and why was I asking. Last night I actually felt relieved that we were divorced because he was sounding like such an uncaring jerk!
2. Had a second job interview yesterday and may have a job offer soon. I feel like a new job that I can be passionate about will do much for my state of mind!
