I'm sorry to hear the news, and I empathize with you. This is such a painful moment. Having not gotten to the L/court stage yet, I can only guess that it's one thing to tell yourself that a D is likely but a whole other punch to the heart to actually go through the motions of talking this with a L and hearing your wife say those things. I feel for you.
As to what to do, I think you have to let her go. Don't whine, beg, or plead. That's no basis for a M. If it's what she wants, she will get it one way or the other. Be gracious when you can, but don't cave in and give up what is rightfully yours. Throughout, take care of yourself physically and emotionally, rely on the support of friends and family, and keep on living the best you can day by day. You will pull through this. I can't say that it will be quick, and/or easy, but you will pull through. Keep working on yourself, and live in the moment without thinking or worrying about the past or the future. Keep working on yourself. What is this experience teaching you about yourself and life in general?
Give something back to others--doing charity work, or just simply being a kind person who smiles to the clerk who's stressed, can make a big difference for yourself and the karma of the universe. Your W is the negative one--let her be in that negativity. You can't fix it, so don't try. We want to, but we can't fix it. Maybe your W will regret this one day, but you don't know that. What you do know is that you have the power within you to live a full, joyous life. It may not look like that right now, but you will come to see that at some point. We create our own lives; your job now is to keep working on living a life you want to live.
Keep us posted as you go through this horrible time. Smile when you can. There is still reason to do so, even in the worst of times. In fact, I've come to see laughter and smiling, joy, etc. at times like this as a sign of our inner strength not to let life's events, which we cannot control, beat us down.
