might have made a mistake

[doa180]

Well, "we" and "our" continues to be common in discussions and teh house is off the market. I think that she is seeing a life married to me, but I am not sure and I am not asking.

The geographic distance will be an issue for me more than her, and I remain content (not overjoyed) to continue down this path. Our phone conversations continue to lengthen a bit, but we do not discuss R.

I'm not sure what the kids wil think of the house coming of the market, because they are still under the assumption that they are moving here when it sells. Theyu may be confused, but with ou R where it seems to be now, it will be an easier talk with them. Daddy's job is there, mine is here, etc.

We are cetainly in a better place than we have been for at least 6 months. What that means, who knows. If I can keep from tripping over myself by trying to push or move too quickly I think we might make it - but I am still working on keeping my expectations at zero.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Doa,

Dude, I am glad for you. Glad that you can see the postive signs and aren't rushing headlong into them all stupified.

The good times are amazing, because you won't take them for granted.

Work slowly, but... do not sacrifice yourself for your marriage, by that, I mean to do not compromise yourself just to get her back. : ) OK? Look at a couple of other posters who are piecing and see what happens without boundaries being established.

Slow and Steady. Be the turtle not the rabbit. Sides, I hear tell that slower is better.

[doa180]

Thanks. I have not dared peek at piecing, but I think you are right. Yeah, I think I have come to a place in regards to feeling better about myself that I won't sacrifice myself. I can see while a D is not what I want, I will certainly be OK if that should happen.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Then you are in a very good place.
It's not what you want, but you're not afraid of it.
A very good place.

[doa180]

I truly believe I am in that place, and it's not just internet bravado :-)

[doa180]

still maintaining some positive momentum. She continues to be much more talkative and sharing more information with me.

trying to stay cool...

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Do you play golf?
Not really a big fan of it myself, not exactly idle rich here.
But it is a game of inches.

That is what you're looking for, movement forward by inches.

You know when you screw up cause the movement is HUGE backward, but it is harder to see what you're doing right because the movement is small.

[doa180]

I do play golf, but not very well. No patience... that might have been the theme for the old doa...

[doa180]

Things continue to progress slowly forward. W asked me if I wanted to plan a summer vacation with the kids, and we have boked a week long trip. Also has suggested another mini-trip with them in the fall.

No R talk from either her or me, which is OK. She still is very hesitant to make eye contact with me, which I guess may or may not come with time.

I did send her flowers after my last visit, which was of course a gamble. She did e-mail me to say thanks, though. A few months back when I sent her flowers she did not acknowledge.

So we'll see. I'm not passing this along as advixce, but for me I think taking off my ring and dropping (well at least looesening my grip on) the rope seems to have made a big difference. I am happier, and thus not putting any pressure on her.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

I think taking off my ring and dropping (well at least looesening my grip on) the rope seems to have made a big difference. I am happier, and thus not putting any pressure on her.

If this is ture, if you are happier, then good. I am glad that you can see this.

Hang tight Doa, btw there is a poem I posted on Patrick's MLC/BS thread. I think you might like it.

Invictus