Steadfast Benevolence

[Concerned_Listener]

Jak, Matilda, and Piecing Friends,
Last night's dance class was difficult.

I was having difficulty getting a basic step, and was getting frustrated. My W tried to show me, but I still didn't get it. I asked the teacher to explain. My W kept interrupting, and I asked her to be quiet so I could hear the teacher. This infuriated her. She says that I yelled at her. The teacher ended-up moving her aside so she could speak to me and playfully called her a brat.

My W wouldn't dance with me the rest of the class. The teacher said that she was pouting because I wouldn't let her pick on me. The teacher also told her that she picks on people if they aren't perfect.

My W is blaming me for the incident, and demanded an apology. I told her,I didn't do anything wrong, but am sorry for any unintentional harm I may have caused. I merely asked the teacher a question. We went to bed with the issue unresolved. She wanted me to say things I didn't believe.

We spoke some more this morning. She wanted me to stick-up for her in class, and say that she was right in her instruction, and that she has been a great help to me in the past.

She also states that I don't show enough appreciation for all the help she has given me with dance practice. She also says that I seem to have more fun when I'm dancing with other women, but not with her. She's talking about not practicing with me for now, and wants to seek another dance partner.

I'm trying to make sense of this. It certainly is an adjustment having my W in a dance class with me. She has these expectations of me. I'm just there to get dance instruction. She's not taking any responsibility for the incident last night.

It certainly was embarrassing acting-out our marital issues in front of the group, but I'm trying to think that it's OK to have an imperfect M, and that other relationships and people in the group are also imperfect, and that the men can relate to the difficulties of being in a M, and probably don't think less of me.

CL