I'm so confused for you.. there was so much positivity in your sitch recently.. and then it just took a turn. It's likely just part of the roller coaster but I totally understand if you're too tired from the ride so far that you feel like getting off and having your feet on solid ground. I think taking a much needed breather and doing absolutely nothing regarding your M or R before making any final decision (as per Dry Heat) is a smart idea.
I agree with BBJ.. your D's are so blessed to have you for a Mom.
I just got to work and read everything. I don't need to tell you how sorry I am since this ending is not what you wanted.
We've "known" each other for a few months now (!!) and through all the crap you've been taking the ups and the downs, the insecurity, the uncertainty I have noticed how much stronger you sound. I know how it feels Liz. I know that deep inside there is a part of you dying, one you were holding on to, it's the disappointment of loosing after giving a hell of a fight, it's the emptyness of "what now?".
The greatest advice I've read here by Woog and others has been "keep breathing, keep walking". Don't you dare stop now to reconsider what has happened. You can do that later. Now you look ahead and keep your self busy.
For me it works to fight the urge to cry, not let myself to "slip" because it is much more difficult to "get up" again.
I am always here for you. You are a great lady and you have a happy life ahead of you. Take care of yourself and your Ds (and maybe consider a trip to Greece this summer...?).
W2G, you might be right, this might be another bump on the roller coaster. But H has lied to me for the last 10 months. I have done everything he asked and changed everything that he said was a problem. That doesn't matter to him. It seems as if he had his mind made up 10months ago that he would never try to save this M. I think he wants it to be over but he doesn't have the guts or courage to end the pain. He wouldn't even tell me face to face, I had to get the answer in a text. Do I really want that the rest of my life.
Kalni, I mentioned me taking the girls on a vacation to H. When I said where I wanted to go was too far to drive he said fly and rent a car. I said that was a waste of money and he asked why. I pointed out that he makes a lot more money than me. H said he would pay for the Ds. Maybe I should give him a bill for Greece.
BBJ, I don't know what to say other than I love you and wish I could be there for you too. I wish our Hs would just grow some balls and level with us so we can move on.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
Thanks Red. I too wish the guys in our lives could find their backbones and their voices a lot more often......
Don't worry about me, I will do my best to get through the weekend, come what may. You just focus on the Ds and on yourself, try to get yourself something nice w/H's money this weekend. Maybe a nice pedicure and some cute sandals in case it ever decides to warm up where you are....
Thanks Red. I too wish the guys in our lives could find their backbones and their voices a lot more often......
Don't worry about me, I will do my best to get through the weekend, come what may. You just focus on the Ds and on yourself, try to get yourself something nice w/H's money this weekend. Maybe a nice pedicure and some cute sandals in case it ever decides to warm up where you are....
I'm sorry I haven't checked in for a bit. I am also sorry to learn about the new developments. I agree with Jeff. It's only over if you choose it to be over. I'm not sure that his response to a text message can be consider definitive. However, if you choose to make it that way then I guess it can be.
Give it a little more time. Focus more on what makes you happy. Have some fun. Get a life and enjoy it. You never know, he may come back once he realizes what he is missing.
You can choose to be happy either with him or without him. Happy is your choice in the end.
Thanks Woog, I do choose to be happy....I just have to get through some $h!t first. H told my oldest D that he doesn't want to work on the marriage. I have decided if he doesn't feel I am worth fighting for, it is time to move on. I'll give him until June 6th which will be about a year since the bomb, then I will file if he hasn't.
R 23 years M 20 years Bomb June 2007 S Oct 2007 Ds 11 & 16 Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
