Stronger - but still confused

[Snow White]

This all feels so weird. Wednesday night for the first time, D asked when daddy was coming home while I was tucking her in. I told her that I didn't think he was. Her face kind of crumpled and she wanted to call him. I told her we could but I didn't think he would answer(never answers his cell since it is on vibrate and he thinks it is a text so ends up calling back, when he wants to). Well he picked up on the first ring and she asked him and then I could hear ok, ok, ok, bye. And then she handed the phone to me. So he says I told her I would see her at gymnastics. He was working past the start time of gymnastics in another city but says he was changing shifts so he could come(he never comes even when he is home). It was only about a 1 minute conversation but I just said don't tell her things if you aren't going to do them. When he got off the phone she told me daddy said he has ton work tonight that is why he isn't home. So i did whip off a quick text saying don't lie to her, she asked when you were coming home, I told her and she didn't believe me, then you lie, what am I supposed to tell her every other night. He did not respond until yesterday morning. Do not talk to her about me.

So he actually did show up to gymnastics last night, it is amazing how the dynamic between people can change. As much as things have been different the past few months, since he has left the house 5 days ago when he came into the gym it was akward and I could tell it was for him too. I was the only other person there(in the viewing area). He asked a quick how was work, fine you? Fine. Then he says if you don't want me here I can leave. I said you promised D you would come and I can go if you are uncomfortable. D was jumping up and down waving and yelling daddy from in the gym. Then he let me know that I didn't have to take D to daycare today that he could watch her then drop her off at school since he didn't work until 1. I knew from last week his schedule but never mentioned this possibility. When we left gym I had her all buckled in the car and he kissed her and told her he would see her today and then it was so akward again when he left to get in his car like he didn't know what to do or say to me.

When I got home I sent a quick text message saying thank you for coming to gym. I know I am trying not to contact much, and really there has been very little. But I thought it would be nice to point out something done right. He responded, your welcome, I told her I would be there. I said I know and that is why I am happy you came. Not a problem, see you in the morning, would you like a coffee? Yes please.

So H came at the exact time I needed to leave for work today with a coffee, no interaction a quick thank you and goodbye. I guess it is a positive that even though he is not there for me, he did show up for D's gym and offered to watch her today, she misses him and needs this.