For the guys with kids and a WAW

[hopeful4her]

Last night, the second I posted my last post, the electricity goes out due to a storm. As I walk through the house, I know WW is asleep. I can't stand it anymore. I have to know something. I have to check the phone. I know I shouldn't. I can't help myself. I see that she has new VM. I check the recent calls. OM called her this morning at the time he knows that she is on the road going to work. Couple of missed calls at 10, 11 and 1. One call out to him at about 6:30. She would have been on the road home. The VM's are from him. First says about how he is having contractors around and they are trying to finish up and won't be available till maybe 12:30 if she still wants to have lunch, he knows he does with her. Second says he can be there at 1:00. Last is him saying he is outside waiting for her. Bad news to me. I checked. But, good news maybe. No calls missed, in, or out to each other as far as to the 11th. None. The 11th was last Friday, the day of our last blow out. Not sure if she is deleting the calls or there has been no contact at least since last Friday. The 11th was the farthest the history would go. Not totally convinced that WW would be smart enough to erase the calls so completely if there were any. On her phone, she would have to erase two records, in the ingoing, outgoing and missing and also in the recent calls. Truth be told, I really don't think she would have remembered to erase every single one. I don't think that she would have any reason to erase them. In her mind, I don't think that she would have to hide anything from me. I think that she has really been trying to end things with him, but then he called her. "Could we please have lunch. We can still have lunch. I miss you. Love you." I can just hear it. But to me, that is good news. In my mind, that is why I have been feeling really strong lately in my dimness. Except for yesterday. Yesterday, I was just in a funk. Was I having a "sixth sense" thing? All appearances of no contact with OM for at least a weak until yesterday. Very odd to me. Of course she could be calling from work, but he wouldn't call her at work. It would have been on her cell. Bill comes in after the 25th. I could always check the time period then. I feel better. Of course I'm P***ed about them meeting again, but maybe there was something going on in her mind. Lots to consider. Then again, one call from him and there she is. I know, in her mind, that she could still have lunch with him sometimes. No big deal. She doesn't realize. She doesn't see nor understand what happens. Maybe the Lord was working on us, and then because I couldn't stand it, and snooped, he let me see what I was trying to find instead of trusting in Him. Thats what I get. But perhaps, still a chance at R. I will be dim. No pursuing. No catering. But not ingnoring. I will initiate conversation with her again. But I will be strong, loving and detached. Now I have to see how Saturday night goes.