H and I had a disussion tonight about money, as you may know that is a big thing with me. Well we need to have a few things done around the house, like FINALLY getting the plumbing fixed, the bathroom redone and some work done outside. Well H has deside that this all needs to be done before mid July when we are having his families 'Christmas in July'. That is what about 2 and a half months away. There is alot of work to be done and a lot of money to be spent. He has been working alot of overtime but we have not been putting any money aside for any of the projects that need to be done with the exception of the plumbing. Now that money is now going to pay for some of the work that needs to be done outside. That is having a bunch of dirt hauled in to fill in the low spots in the yard that in the spring always are very muddy, mostly where the kennel is for the dog.
I don't have a problem with spending the money on these things its the fact that he has known for a while now that all of this has needed to get done and why have we not been able to get the money put aside for the projects is where my problem is. I brought up about how he wants to go to Disney this Chirstmas, have we started to save for that yet, nope. The same thing was thought of last year too, did we go, nope. Now with H not racing most of the summer I was hoping to have our summer back to go on a few vactions well that is not looking like it is happening either, lack of money is what it all boils down to.
It seems like we are just starting to get our heads above water and then he justs want us to drowned. Like with the whole repo truck that the guy bought from us, and skipped town, I was OK with having to pay that off but now on with all of the extra projects I feel that we are back to square one again.
H has a solution to the money problem though, and I still don't agree with him on it and I have never thought it was a good idea, but it is to take yet one more loan out on is 401k plan. I can only imagine how much money he would have in that account if he would never had taken a loan out.
I am just so frustrated with everything again...I am feeling like is this all worth it.
He is not hearing me at all.
He has more or less put the blame back on to me for not having the money to pay for all of this. He has a good way of doing that, all the time. When he sold all of his race car stuff off we had the money then, we paid off a credit card and paid down on another one. And that of course was my idea, and that he knew that all of this other stuff needed to be done and I knew about it all and I should not have wanted to use ALL of the money for that. Well I can prove that it was not ALL used for that just by showing him the bank statment. We used alot of that money to get caught up on and back to current on a bunch of stuff too. He of course never sees it that way. He sees it as I screwed up again, and he never does anything wrong, and he is always right. That is kind of a funny thing, that is one of the things that we have gone over in counciling, that it won't kill him if he is not right all the time. Because that is one of the major things that I have a problem with, and I even came out and said it, He is always right and I am never right.
This is a vicious circle, now isn't it. When he got to the point in the arugement that he has been working all of this over time for what, that was when I stopped fighting, I knew that I had hit a nerve and was not going to get anywhere with it, he was not going to hear what I had to say from that point on anyhow.
The C suggested that we see a fincial planner so we can stop the constant aurgements about money. But I think H thinks that we are going to be fine, but I am looking a bit in the future. We are going to be screwed if he does not have the over time to work and if either of us is off from work for any period of time. I mean my goodness between the two of us we make about 100k a year, that should be enough for a family of three to live on wouldn't you think? I have always thought that we have more than enough to get by with out having the amount of debt that we have. He has baulked at any attempt to cut back on thing for a while to get out of debt, maybe seeing a professional about it will scare him enough to finally see the light.
I would not have a problem with having to get rid of the high speed internet, my cell phone, or even our cable for a couple of years to make sure that we have enough to get our debt paid down. Heck I have even gone as far as to look at getting cheaper cosmetics and that kind of stuff for me for a while. I have stopped getting my hair highlighted and just gone to an all over color which I would easily be able to stop getting done, with out having to cover the color that I am getting done now, I could problably be able to do it at home. So I am not willing to scarifice to get out of the money situation we are in.
When I talked to our C about this he feels that H is addicted to debt. I believe that he is. Think about it, we finally have more than 500 in the bank that he can get to, we are paying everything on time, OK maybe not quite everything. And now he finally wants to get these project rolling. I think that he is scared to have money in the bank, that is something that he is going to have to figure out. I know for me personally I love to have a bank balance and a high one at that. When I was putting money way each pay check to pay for the big D I loved seeing the balance go up everytime I put the money in. I am still putting the same amount away every pay check but now H wants to use that for the projects too, he does not have access to that money my name is the only one on the account. H of course wants me to change that but I don't want him to have access to that account period. I look at it as my rainy day fund that I can spend how I see fit, to a point.
OK I think that I am going to try to get some more sleep now...
