Have you reread the stages of MLC? It sounds as if he still has a ways to go.
Perhaps inaction is best here. You have had some real changes. Maybe he can only go so far back into the tunnel, as the MLC guidelines say.
I will tell you what a guy I know who went through MLC told me: he wanted to build a fantasy life for himself.
I felt my H had expectations beyond what any real human partner could possibly offer. Like your H, he is negative and complaining. H's negativity was so extreme (he saw NOTHING positive in life) that something had to change. So he went tripping after his vision of perfection. I think the fantasy is unraveling.
In your H's case, the illusion of perfection has been broken. If he returns to OW, he will be right back into THOSE problems.
My H is still negative but I have been dark on him. He cannot scapegoat me any more.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
