Where do...I...go from here?

[cagzmom]

Hey there sweet TP (not talking toilet paper either!!)HA!! I know I know so funny.

Sooo I have been reading your post - yes the one that locked and now onto here... my thoughts for YOU.

First and foremost - you and I are in teh same boat. The age of the OW. THE OW. Remember my bimbo officially moved in last week - she even asked h "do you ever think about getting married again....??" OK he isn't even DIVORCED YET BIMBO!! and lets think H is such an idiot he told me. BUT htat isn't what I wanted to post. What I wanted to say my friend is this. WE *yes that is you and me - need to get our focus off the BIMBO. That is what she is. Yes I agree she is a "oh so troubled soul..and bla bla bla...and I think we need to ask God to help us get to a place of forgiveness (As you can see I am not there). BUT the more we THINK about them the more waisted energy -- teh less we have for OURSELVES and who we are.

Your H and the possible D. You know TP that I have been waivering on what to do. What DBing really is and all of that. You DO know that your H is a mess--- I mean come on --- you KNOW it. YOU KNOW that his head inside is totally messed up --- and I know you are like me...WE WERE AND STILL ARE TEH GLUE. BUt here is teh deal....we have to let them go to break.

In my h's suicide note that is kinda what he wrote---that I was the one person that tried to help him....well guess what it didn't work AND it wasnt my job. WE need to let them go.....all the way. FOR THEM and more importnatly for YOUR OWN SELF.

The kids-whats best for them? I would STRONGLY suggest asking the C to deal with the kids when it comes to time with their dad. My C for my daughter has been really really helpful. Keep them in counseling...it is a safe place for them....they can say they miss thier dad and it doesn't hurt YOU..they can be honest and open and learn how to make boundaries and watch out for their own hearts. Your H will screw up, miss his times with them...or he could be like my H and show up on time as Disney Dad on his wonderful every other weekend...(yes all of his 4 days a month...)See they are distorted and messed up...our job is to hold the glue together at home.

YOu have come so far in teh past month. Seriouslly. Letting go---it is a good thing. I don't know how it is happening with me..but I am. And learning how to stand EVEN if we are D...I dont get it either..but we can do it..many before us have and they have gone on to become outstanding, fantastic, wonderful strong and beautiful men and women!

Good night my new friend...you are doing amazing!