I would think it is is the way you are interacting with him that's working. Keep it up, girl. I think most men wants a woman who admires him and does not like being turned down. I guess most people, men or women, are like that. When H asks for something (which is not often because my H is very independent, which is bad in its own way because I don't feel being needed), I try to say yes all the time. Once I asked him for information so I know where to send a check to, he said he had the info and would give it to me but completely forgot about it. I asked a second time, he just asked me to dig out the info himself (which would take more time since it is his work stuff). But fine, he is busy working, so I didn't say much and just did it. Before I would have told him "it's your stuff, you do it". Now, I am doing it gladly, as a loving act. He seems to appreciate it. it works both way. Like the other day, I broke the a drain pipe in the kitchen (not really my fault but still). He helped me fix the whole thing without the usual "You shouldn't have done that". I thanked him tons, of course, ha ha. So we turned a potential blaming situation into a boosting-H-ego-you-fixed-the-pipe-so-fast scene.
Grap your opportunity if H and ogre is not doing well. Show him you are a lovely, friendly, not clingy, fun, admiring, warm person you are. It won't hurt anyway. Take care
