Thanks for the great suggestions and insight. Sorry about my long paragraphs, I get carried away and I have a tendency to ramble off. Things are going well, I know I'll have good and bad days, and as it was a process before to move on, it'll be one for me in "piecing". We meet our new counselor next week and we'll see how that goes.
As to your questions...He's pretty good at working with me on my triggers...he loves his car but he's willing to give it up for me because for some reason it's a trigger point..so we have been looking but it may not be a pratical decision right now, so we might put that off.
Being affectionate and more verbal about his feelings has been helpful in reassuring me that I am making the right decision about our reconcilation and falling in love again with him. My H has this manly ego or machoness, and is not quite intuitive to his sensitive side. But we are working on it.
As I said earlier we've been together since we were teenagers, and I really miss how it was in the beginning when we first met. Why is it we always treat each other better in the beginning? That's one of my issues, I feel angry/disappointed that over time this disinergrated. He didn't do the things he used to do in the beginning, took me for granted (which I did too of him). But I find myself most resentful is that he treated a complete stranger (OG) during that time better than he treated his family, his wife and kids. While we are the ones who have actually been there for him all these years with the good and the bad. I'm really family oriented and believe that family comes first and I feel betrayed by it. So I find myself comparing a lot with what I heard from OG, and it just burns me inside to know that he did that for somebody else besides me..his wife. Which is so wrong...no matter how your relationship or situation is at the time in your marriage.
Things aside from our issues on our seperation, our communication has gotten better. I do see some progress and I feel calmer today.. (it's funny, doesn't this emotional rollercoaster ride end...I've never felt so bipolar in my life. I'm really looking forward to some stability in my life, especially with my emotions. Just when I felt like I have found some, things change again with him coming back). We are both pretty stubborn and confrontational people. We both see things one way, our way. But again we are working on it. I have no control over his own realizations and decisions on what he wants to change about himself, but hopefully, we have both learned from this crisis and about each of our own mistakes that lead up to this in the past. I know I definitely have and I see some changes in myself. I'm more calm, open-minded and analytical. I try not to react before I think, which is my problem.
But anyways, I'll try not to write a novel again so I'll end it here. Hopefully, the spacing helped..I'm still kinda new to this posting thing, so any tips help. Also, I don't remember what you said about how long you have been in the process of "piecing". Also feel free to vent to me, I have more time tonight to read up on your stitch so I'll try to post on yours also. And sometimes it may take me a little while to reply back b/c I don't always get a chance to check my email. Anyways, I hope that things are going well for you and for all of you out there...all I can say is, take it one day at a time and flow with it...tomorrow is another day.
With much love, Dimples
P.S. I told my husband about about me posting on this site..he's been a bit paranoid about what I have been doing while we were seperated and has been checking up on me and on the computer, so when he put the keylogger (which is now gone supposely) on my computer he read one of my replys to somebody's stitch (that's how he found out about this website)...but I asked him to promise me that he wouldn't try to read up on what I'm doing on this messageboard..I told him that this is my own form of personal counseling and if he would respect the fact I would like to keep it private. He tried avoiding the subject, but he did promise...so I'm a bit worried about how open I can be about posting how I feel. Do you guys ever worry that your spouse or someone you may know may recognize you on this site?
