GF, I have been doing that more and more. I asked him over for dinner Sunday and Monday night. I now know he didn't show Monday because he was Cpt. Hickey, but I made the offer and didn't get pissy when he didn't come either night. I just told him that I was making dinner and he was welcome to come have some if he wanted to. He declined both times, but I think was actually glad that I asked. I never thought about it as a form of pursuit, but I think you are right. I have been trying to do little things, like on the way to the game I will offer to get him a soda when I get mine, get him a bag of sunflower seeds, etc...
I have also txtd him a couple of times just asking stuff like, what're you up to today, etc... He sometimes reacts like, why do you ask, what do you think I'm doing and I respond with "just making conversation." or something like that, not checkin' up on you, just saying Hi. He is taking all of us to a hockey game Saturday night and that is the 1st Saturday night he has even offered to spend with us, let alone me since before he left. Baby Steps, no expectations.
Michelle, being in this situation is sort of an EA, but isn't it strange to be in that position with your own spouse? My H actually made a crack last week that I could be his mistress, that he thinks I would make a great mistress...Huh?
I think some of the fog has lifted just because of the pregnancy. That is a reality smack and I know he is really having a hard time accepting his age. I guess some of this is a MLC on top of everything else. He gets sucked back into the fog bank pretty easily, but is still clear enough to know that things can't be this way forever. He has shown more concern for how his actions affect other people lately, but I'm still very leery of putting too much stock into that, as it can change in the blink of an eye. I'm just going to keep on doing what seems to be working and see where this road leads.
No matter what, I know I will come out of this a changed woman. I think it will be for the better too, because strangely enough I feel lighter than I have in a long time. I am taking time to loosen up and let go of somethings that I have found out, really just don't matter all that much...
Like the Wicked Witch of the West says, "All in good time my pretty, all in good time!"
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
