Hanging in there....

[Sugar and Spice]

I guess its sort of a desperate attempt at some sort of intimacy and closeness. I am also pretty much the only friend he has to talk to, kinda sad really.

I just wish it was easier than this. He says stuff sometimes, that just make me wonder WTH are you thinking, how can you say that to ME of all people, but I try not to react that way simply because it negates the "friendship" and reminds him I'm the "W" and the "authority figure." I got that book, Not Jut Friends and it is full of great information. I suggested to him that it would benefit him more than it would me and he really didn't seem to like it very much, but did listen to a couple of the points it makes and seemed to actually agree.

I'm not always able to detach when we have these talks, but lately I have been making a bigger effort to not cry or get "emotional" it makes the talks more productive. We were talking earlier today and I told him that if he came home that we would have work to do and his response was, "I won't have to work when I come home. I don't see our relationship as work." I replied that maybe we should have worked on it before, but that I wanted things to change for the better and he agreed, so anyway...its moment to moment, but he is forced to spend the evening with me because DD & DS have back-to-back games tonight. I did find out that he has been avoiding seeing me this week because OW left hickeys on his neck...so gross! That is just so High School! I did get a bit pissy about it, partially because I'm a jealous bitch, but also because...um, HELLO! You have 2 kids that know we don't live together and have bruises on your neck, explain that one Matlock! WHATEVER! I just told him that he needed to show a little more class and respect, as that is just tacky. NOT my finest 5 minutes , but he actually apologized for it, I was shocked.

And so I wait...