Yeah, I see what you all are saying about acting as if the spouse to be nice in a particular situation so that you don't inadvertently start a downward spin by *ass*uming negative things.

Maybe my question is this:
If a WAS says they want to feel emotionally connected, *how* do you do that when you are keeping your feelings in check in order to not pressure them? For instance-MinkerMan was a pissed that his wife got a transit pass and talked about renting for April AND May. If he was being "open and honest" in order to be "emotionally connected" he would have told his wife as much. But, he didn't tell her. He has begun to "act as if" they are apart since she is backing off. {Sorry to talk about you like you aren't here MM ;\) }

How do you emotionally connect/be intimate with someone when it's not safe (wise, prudent, smart) to truly open up to them?
edited to add that hopeforfuture has a good question too about detaching. If I am supposed to 'detach' (so as not to pressure) how do I connect?


Last edited by Trixi; 04/17/08 10:42 PM.
Me-43
H-46
M 12 yrs 7/09
T 15
2 grown kids
bomb 7/05/07
H moved out 8/04/07
11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling
Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D
End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing