Well, getting psyched up to go to MC today. Have read so many posts over the past hour which is helping me get my mind right. This will be the first counseling where I do a 180. I usually go on and on when MC asks questions, or don't even look at W when she is talking - today, I will look her in the eyes when she speaks. Will empathize and really listen to what she is saying. When I get questions about me, I will only talk about me and not about how I felt nagged or couldn't do antything right, will turn that into I didn't understand what W wanted and should have listened better (a lot of truth to that).

I wrote this for her after our second MC and figured out what she really wanted:

I Never Meant to Hurt You

I thought you were happy
I never heard the cries
I knew we were not connecting
So I tried to fix what I thought was wrong
Never asking what you needed
or what you thought
Today I have a better understanding
Just how broke we are
I never meant to hurt you
I just couldn’t hear the cries

Me

Unfortunately, she may never get the chance to read this, or several other pieces I wrote, but it made me feel better!

Wish me luck


M=46 W=47 M=24 (together 26) D21, S19
Bomb 3/16/08 OM 3/28/08 WAW moved out 5/16
Divorce final 10/09