Question: If a Spouse is complaining of a lack of emotional connection, but the DB theory is to "act as if" and not put pressure on the WAS- how do you make those two things fit together?
Errr... I dont see how those two things ARE related??
If the WAS is complaining about lack of emotional connection... then shouldnt the LBS be trying to improve that, in whatever ways they believe would be helpful? Not sure what "act as if" has to do with the situation.
I was wondering the same thing as Trixi. Whether its emotional connection or just a connection in general, the acting 'as if' seems to be counterintuitive. Why does this make the spouse want to come back, whether the case is that they are with someone else or if they are just not fully engaged in the marriage?
Personally I think I jumped back into our R too quickly following reconciliation and this spooked W a bit. I was wanting it all and she wanted to give that to me, but I don't think she was ready for that yet. Maybe there is some guilt that they aren't feeling the same level of feelings? I'm not sure, but I think that my W wanting to separate is a way to slow things down a little to really make sure that fixing us is right.
I'm just as confused as the rest of you and don't have a clear plan at the moment...
I'm just as confused as the rest of you and don't have a clear plan at the moment...
