Very interesting thread. While we are being honest,I feel compelled to say I have felt the desire to have someone ask me to go to coffee. Often. I have been left 3 times in one yr. and the thought of another human (ok,man!) taking an interst in me is very appealing. Very. I have not sought such a thing out, but have been approached by men while out with my SGF. While this feels good, and validates that I am still desirable, these men so far have been married. There is not one chance in h### that I would ever consider such a compromise and have had NO problem telling them in no uncertain terms that they should go home to their wives. BTW, I too was molested growing up by my stepbrother and had an alchoholic Father. Baggage, but dealt with baggage. I am not afraid of intimacy. My H is terrified of intiamcy, so I'm not sure what it is he is getting from the OW. Probably just plain ole'good sex. While I crave the attention from another male, if I got it from someone that was NOT married, I know I would attempt to control the R to keep it platonic. (yikes!) Oh, I don't know where I'm gong with this except my H and I are NOT working on our R right now and I don't know if I even want to continue to try. I have burn out with him saying and doing all the same things over and over and nothing ever changing. I find myself longing for the companionship of a male friend. Funny-I used to long for the companionship of my H. Something is changing inside of me and it scares me a little. I know to look for a rebound R is not a good thing yet I feel like I just wasted the last 3 1/2 yrs of my life trying to keep my M together, and my thought is-this is not going to work out. I'm not looking for a R. but I fear that if one came my way I would be too vulnerable not to test the waters. Not to eccept the attention I crave. There, I said it. Now, tell me why I should not have any kind of R if my H shows no interest in me and has come back home (3 times) just a shell of the man he used to be to say he "tried". Oh, how we are stuck when in this sitch!! I hate this limbo, but cannot do anything about it right now for many reasons. I'm just tired of being alone, that's all. It felt good to get that out! Rachael
