I feel for ya, I really do. such a shitty thing (molestation) to happen to a young girl (I too was molested)...the ramifications of such an occurance can be devistating and often unknown to the victim.
I also have difficulty dealing with men...so for the most part (knowing this to be the case) try my best to not put myself in any uncomfortable situations..but then for me (and you as you have stated in the past) what is the true boundary?? is it really an uncomfortable sit that is causing the discomfort or does it have to do with the past experience?? we can't just go around thinking that every man we interact with wants a piece of us now can we? so where to draw the line??
I understand your wanting companionship and considering taking this man up on the offer...but then you'd have to sit back and consider why you would be accepting his offer...to fill your own void..to fill up your tank (qt? perhaps you and sbh need some more "dates") then you would be using him in a sense wouldn't you?
I don't know what I'm saying...thing is you could use a woman in the same way...but there isn't that same connotation is there?
finding a way to turn someone down??
not that long ago I was in a book store..yes the self help section...there was a man there looking lost...I asked what he was looking for (I would have done the same with a woman) and he then gave me info about his sit..I told him about db and found the book for him. he found his way to the register at the same time as me...then asked if I'd like to go get coffee with him just to talk..all I said was..."I don't think that would be a good idea"
there are many ways to get out of something without putting yourself in the position of being naive looking either way (naive to think they're thinking that way..or naive to think they're not) "thanks for the offer but I just can't" "thanks for the offer but I just wouldn't be comfortable with that"
I'm sure if you think about it a while you can come up with many ways to get yourself out of that situation..and the thing you can always remind yourself is that YOUR feelings are important...you don't have to consider how this person will feel if you reject them...you have to consider how you or sad will feel if you don't.
