[Sugar and Spice]

Princess Nic, that was so on target. I believe you can love one person as well, but as you grow and change that you do it together to help strengthen and deepen the bond. Since we are posting here, that is not what has happened for most of us. What you and the rest of the other spouses need to decide is this the relationship I want/am willing to grow with or without.

I wish I could tell the future GFI and tell you it would all be better, but as you know I can't (I would have seen the troll coming!). Unfortunately there is no rule book to love and we just make it up as we go along. Identify what it is that you want and need and then see if H is willing to meet you 1/2 way. If not, then move on and someone else will.

I also TOTALLY agree with putting a time limit or date on things. When I was pregnant with my DD, my MIL told me something that really helped, she said you can do anything, as long as you know there will be an end. As long as you have a goal date either spoken or in your head, you can do whatever it is you need to do to save the R or know in your heart you are done. For me, I have to know that I did EVERYTHING I could/would reasonably do to save it before I'm done. That way when I go there are no regrets, I can say that I did my best and it wasn't enough. No harm, no foul.

Where in Oildale did you live? You are more than welcome to come and visit me too! How do I give you my email?