Imt, I think it is a good idea to let your H know where you're at in terms of commitment to the M. He deserves a chance to make adjustments on his end.
I'm not sure what expectations you have for the conversation, or what it is you need from your H.
As far as your pain, what emotions are you experiencing? Do you have a healthy outlet for expressing and processing them? Do you talk to friends, a therapist, write in a journal?
Writing to us is helpful too.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
