I know that following your sitch, I have taken a lot of the advice that has been given to you. It appears that you are in the final stages of something good. It sounds like going dim on her, only responding to her when she initiates it, and going around like "Hakuna Matada" is the way to go. Then giving the darts that Puppy has offered in response to rudeness helps set your boundaries in the mean time. All appearances seem like you are so close, but of course there is the so far part.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Remember, the important thing is taking care of you and the kids. I know I can be so strong, and then one little thing just completly sets me back and I become emotional. What's wrong with me, why can't she just see, I love her so much, why am I being rejected, blah, blah, blah. Bulls**t! Now it's about me and my little ones. If she wants to come along with us, great. If not, good riddance. Go ahead and push me. She has no idea what I can accomplish. I think that is what has her thinking.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Last night I got home, talked to DS16 for a bit, went and got a haircut, came home and immediately went upstairs and watched some baseball with DS16. Never talked to WW once. When I got home from the haircut she was sitting on the couch in the family room watching T.V. and didn't budge.
Oh well, don't really care.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
Thanks Kat. I know I need to give it time. I've been patient this long, I just need to be patient a little longer. And that's a hard thing for me. I'm naturally impatient. Now that she says she's told OM they can't talk anymore, I'm like, "lets get to work", but I know it's not that easy.
Last time I did the LRT back in mid Feb, it seemed to work. She began responding etc, but then she got back in contact with the POS (maybe it never ended, who knows?) and I forced the issue. Now I feel like this time, the A may be over for good, although I've thought that before. But this time, if your kids are telling you they won't talk to you again if you continue with OM, it's got to have an affect. So I'm hopeful.
WW is going to pick DS19 up from school this afternoon. It'll be 2.5 hours back with just them in the car. I can't wait to see what her demeanor is after that ride. I'm guessing there will be some conversation between them so maybe this will give her the final nudge to continue NC and if I give her enough time she'll wake up. If not, I've spent just about all the emotional energy I have fighting for this marriage.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
I'm like, "lets get to work", but I know it's not that easy.
I am with you there. This is the 'fix-it' mentality a lot of us have. I am ready to work on my M, just like you are. Have been ready to get to it for a while. But you are right, it isn't that easy.
She has to be ready to work on the M....and, as you know....
Just a good luck from me. Believe me, I have shared many of the emotions you are experiencing now. One warning - you are thinking logically and expect W to do the same. But she won't. And she will rationalize things so they seem logical to her, even if they aren't. Her reality distortion field is in full force right now.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
