Me personally? I wouldn't send that letter. As I've been learning, you can't make her feel guilty about her A because that's what makes her feel good right now. So how does that give you any leverage? It doesn't. So talking to her like a parent or trying to make her feel guilty isn't going to do you any good.
That said, I think there's a valid difference in opinion about confronting re: the A vs. avoiding. I'd say that if you're going to confront, be business-like about it, not emotional and making demands. She doesn't give a sh*t about your demands now, right? So why make them, it only distances.
Try to think about what you'd say if this was totally objective - if you were totally detached from the emotional side of things.
my $.02. lodo
PS - in my sitch, I'm discovering what many, many others have realized. The more I detach and pursue my own life, paying no attention to my WAW's sitch, the more she starts to contact me and act like she wants to make sure I'm still involved in her life. just an observation.
